A Virtual Trip To Live Oak

Yall liss'n. Eff'n yall kin't git a vacashun...Here's a treat jest fer yall

fum me. Ya reckon?

ALL ABOARD FOR A VIRTUAL TRIP TO

LIVE OAK, FLORIDA

Yall liss'n. Lot's goin on hyar... Ya reckon?

So git those cameras rollin! Fry mah hide!

PULL RIGHT UP TO THE BACK PORCH,

Th' whole lan' is a parkin lot, jest don't splash mud on th' warsh! Fry mah hide!

YALL PARK & ENJOY THE VIEWS!

(whoops! Fry mah hide!)

Hey, lot's of talent hyar, Ya reckon?

Git thet ole camco'der rollin A4 th' Miss Cow Pie corntess is on over...Vote fer yall favrite Purty gal ...SMILE PURTY!

Clicky on th' winners below.

We growem purty aroun' these parts...Fry mah hide!

PurtyGal#1

PurtyGal#2

PurtyGal#3

Less git wet in our luxurious pool facilities...Ya reckon?

Later, we'll tek a ride in th' woods,

doesn't fo'git urine skeeter loshun! Fry mah hide!

Them suckers or trimenjus inough ta carry off urine farst born......

Yall liss'n hyar. Th' hikin trail will let yall see Nature's Wonners!!

21 REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

21 REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS NOT HAYRD TO LEARN for a redneck! Fry mah hide!

1) Th' ban'age was woun' aroun' th' woun'.

2) Th' farm was used t'prodooce prodooce.

3) Th' dump was so full thet it had t'refuse mo'e refuse.

4) We muss polish th' Polish furniture.

5) He'd lead eff'n he'd git th' lead out.

6) Th' soldier decided to desert his dessert in th' desert.

7) On account o' thar is no time like th' present, he thunk it was time t'present th' present.

8) A bass was painted on the haid of th' bass drum, dawgone it.

9) When shot at, th' dove dove into th' bushes.

10) ah did not objeck t'the objeck.

11) Th' insurance was invalid fo' th' invalid, cuss it all t' tarnation.

12) Thar was a row among th' oarsmen about how t'row.

13) They were too close to th' dore t'close it.

14) Th' buck does funny thin's when th' does is present.

15) A seamstress an' a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To he'p wif plantin', th' farmer taught his sow t'sow.

17) Th' wind was too strong t'wind th' sail, ah reckon.

18) Af'er a number of injeckshuns mah jaw got number.

19) Upon seein' th' tear in th' paintin' ah shed a tear.

20) ah had t'subjeck the subjeck t'a series of tests.

21) How kin ah intimate this hyar to mah most intimate friend?

Dirt Roads

What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved. There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt
Roads, because Dirt Roads give character. People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride.
That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog. We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn
how to get along. There was less crime in our streets before they were paved. Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun. And there were no drive by shootings. Our values were better when our roads were
worse!

People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks. Dirt Roads taught patience. Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk, you walked to the barn for your milk.
For your mail, you walked to the mail box.What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and
popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.
Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini. At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to
hitch up a team and pull them out.
Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...at the end of a
Dirt Road.

Paul Harvey