JEWISH DICTIONARY WORDS:
 Jewbilation(n.) Pride in
finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish or
that your offspring is marrying a Jewish person.
Torahfied (n.) Inability
to remember one's lines when called to read from the
Torah at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah (OR from the Hagadah at
Passover )
Matzilation (v.) Smashing a
piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.
Bubbegum (n.) Candy one's
mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to
her own children.
Chutzpapa (n.) A father
who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the
baby's diaper.
Deja Nu (n.) Having the
feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your
mother's face, but not knowing exactly when.
Disoriyenta (n.) When Aunt
Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a
conversation with everyone she passes.
Hebort(v.) To forget
all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's
Bar or Bat Mitzvah ...
Jewdo (n.) A
traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's
way out of a tight spot.
Mamatzah Balls(n.) Matzo balls
that are as good as your mother used to make...
Meinstein (n.) slang.
"My son, the genius!"
Mishpochadots (n.) The
assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face
and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.
Re-shtetlement (n.) Moving from
Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old
neighbors live in the same condo building as you.
RoshHashana-na-na
(
n.) A rock 'n roll band from Jewish Brooklyn
.
Yidentify (v.) To be able
to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though
their names might be St. John , Curtis, Davis
or Taylor.
Minyastics (n.) Going to
incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to
complete a Minyan .
Feelawful (n.) Indigestion
from eating Israeli street food, especially
falafel.
Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out
of law school, med. school or business school as seen
through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid.
In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history
when Irv's son David is majoring in biology is sufficient
grounds for diskvellification.
Impasta( n.) A Jew who
starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.
Kinders Shlep(v.) To
transport other kids besides yours in your car.
Schmuckluck (n.) Finding out
one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.
Shofarsogut (n.) The relief
you feel when, after many attempts, the shofar is finally
blown at the end of Yom Kippur .
Trayffic Accident
(n)
An appetizer one finds out has pork in it.
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